Leaving on a Jet Plane... tomorrow

I have had a two week vacation but it really seems like one day. Time flies when your staying busy and having fun. I had time to do the fun stuff like hang out with my loved ones, beach camping, a mud run, bbq, hanging out by the pool, drive a car, home cooked meals, church, run errands, eat at my favorite Simi specific places such as Reds, Eggs n Things, Johns Bagel Deli and of coarse Don Cucos. Also did some not so fun things such as going to the dentist (3 times in 2weeks), getting a horrible sunburn on my back, having Tysons car all checked out to have the "check engine" light come back on :( and saying goodbye yet again to all those that I love. The good weighs out the bad by far so Im not complaining at all.

I love being home, this year has been a roller coaster of unimaginable highs and lows and home is the place to be when you need to be grounded again. It can be emotional at times with the simplest things setting me off for a crying session. Sometimes I need something to set me off in order to let it all out... I have a hard time letting it all out. Very few people have seen me cry, I just can't do it in front of most people, I don't want people to feel sorry for me or to make them feel uncomfortable. I think I have had some good healthy crys this week and it feels good to let it out.

The weirdest thing about being home is the strangest feeling that he will walk through a door at anytime. I feel like if I turn my head he is just going to be there with a huge smile on my face just like a year ago. I waited for it one day while I was laying by the pool... I actually closed my eyes and counted to three and knew in my heart that this past year was all a dream... that when I opened my eyes there he would be standing with one of our nieces in his arms feeding her at least 3 pieces of licorice or a sip of his coke.

I do this sometimes on the road too in a different way. Like if I am falling asleep in bed I close my eyes and it feel like I could be in any bed, like my bed in our home and maybe when I wake up I will actually wake up there and turn over and Tyson will be next to me. Or if Im in the shower and the water is pounding on my face, I could be in our shower at home and when I open my eyes I will actually be in our shower in our home. I don't know if Im wishing it would just be the time before the accident or the current time and the accident never happened.

I feel looney when I do this, like who am I kidding? Certainly not myself! But what if God wanted to give me a miracle... it's not going to happen but it's a nice thought. I also wonder if other people out there do this, or is it just me. I never actually believe it will happen, just hope.

I have 8 weeks left of touring and 5 cities - Cleveland, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Charlotte, and Toronto. It will be a whirlwind but Im excited to make the most of these next 8 weeks and plan for the next step of my life. I think Im most excited about D.C. and Toronto. I went to D.C. once before with Tyson and his family for a family wedding and I loved it. I can't wait to go back and see all the things I didn't get to do the first time. If anyone has any suggestions for what their favorite things are in each city is message me and let me know!

Here are some pictures of our first visit to D.C. in November of 2004