Where to start… I’m still not sure what I want to say right now… but want to say something. I’ve been thinking about this week for an entire year now and now it’s upon me. So how am I feeling? What am I thinking? What can I say? I don’t really know. Ill just start writing and see what comes out…
June 17th is just a date right? It’s the day that comes after the 16th? And falls right before the 18th. It also happens to be the day that my life was turned completely upside down. I could spell out all the horrible things about that day, when those horrible words “he’s gone” were spoken to me, the follow days which blur together, the day we buried him, the things I miss, the things he and I will never share, the pain in all of our hearts, but most of you who read this probably know or can imagine those truths already. They are hard and they are bad but no one on this earth will benefit from me re-hashing them.
Instead I will focus on the man I love with all my heart. I am indefinitely proud to have called this man my husband, best friend, lover, and teacher. The pride fills my heart and gets me through a lot of days. His love is the kind of love that is enough to get me through a hundred lifetimes. I carry a piece of it each day with me and think often of the song by George Straight that he loved so much “Carrying your love with me”.
Who was Tyson?
Tyson was a man of faith who put God first in everything he did. He could get up on Sunday mornings and look mighty fine in a dress shirt and tie even when I felt too lazy or tired to get up to go. To drag your self out of bed when the person next you looks so warm and cozy, since most of us knew how much Tyson loved sleep we know that’s dedication. He equally believed in science and the word of God, which is a hard thing to do. He was able to quote scripture of the top of his head and convey bible stories to others in conversation. He not only believed the word, he lived it, which all of us Christians know, is not an easy thing to do all the time.
Tyson was WICKED smart, like the kind of smart man you read about in history books or magazines, BUT he never made anyone feel dumb. That’s the key to being smart and what I loved most about him. He never held his smarts over any ones head or made them believe that they were any less smart than he. He skipped a lot of school (Go Bruins) at UCLA (sorry Tim and Veta) and made his way over to my house to take me to lunch or to the beach or just watch T.V. with me during the day yet managed to show up to his finals and score in the 90th percentile on most tests. He had a photographic memory and was even kicked out of a casino when he was standing next to his dad and told him he was making a good bet since there was no way the dealer could have an Ace (enter casino security guards to escort young Tyson to the door).
Tyson was athletic. I wasn’t around the days of his great soccer playing years and high school sports but know that he was a great all around player who had the attributes of a star player. He was fast, agile, smart, encouraging of other players, a leader, aggressive, strong, reliable, teachable, and disciplined among many other qualities. All the while, playing with 20/200 vision, making him legally blind in one eye, something he was born with, which affected his depth perception - something you need for sports. He never used it as a excuse or a reason for any shortcomings. He played a friendly game of basketball with some cousins and friends the night before he passed away which provided me with my favorite picture of Tyson. Even though the game became a bit competitive, Tyson could still walk away laughing with a great big smile on his face.
Tyson was a family man. He was my husband for 10 and half months but we dated for 8 years prior to our wedding date. He treated me the way every girl dreams of. From our first date to his last day here on earth Tyson was a loving, kind, emotional when the occasion called for it, thoughtful, gentle, caring, spontaneous, warm, affectionate and devoted. Tyson made me feel beautiful, sexy, and smart - always offering a compliment when I got all dressed up for a night on the town or in my frumpy P.J.s while studying for a test. He never lost his temper or raised his voice at me (and lets face it I’m a girl we can frustrate the heck out of a guy) and was always the first to apologize, teaching me nothing is worth holding a grudge to being angry at because tomorrow is not guaranteed. He was a great son to Tim and Veta and in the latter years my parents, Ellis and Marlene making all four very proud to call him son. He was an amazing brother to Timmy and Amber and eventually their spouses Corinna and Jeremy and most recently my brother Josh. He was the best uncle a kid could ask for to Coby, Cade, Abby, Bella, Oliva and Sophia. My niece Julliette was born several months after Tyson passed away but she will come to know him the way the others know him through stories, pictures, video and memories from the heart. He was a grandson, nephew, cousin, friend and so much more!
He was there when you needed him most, he was the first to cleanup after a big party and the last to leave making sure every last bit was done. He was a coach for his nephews sports teams, the smile you needed to see on a bad day and a hug around the neck when he could see that someone needed it. He could water ski and make any man or woman jealous because he did it with such finesse and jump on the snow ski slopes transferring our envy to a new season. He would sprint to open doors for a person in need, the first to respond to a friend in distress and the patience to sit and listen to their troubles. He would take the shirt off his back, even for an enemy (which I’m not sure even existed). He was a camp counselor/father to the young members of the CCC Wagon Train trips to Hume Lake. He was Sunday school teacher, and he served on our church elder board. He was the builder of our first home, and a scientist. He loved Tea with his mom and watching B flick movies with his dad. He loved and adored the ground his big brother Timmy and equally admired and adored his big sis Amber or as he called her often Amb. He loved Dr. Pepper and Coke. Hot Tamales, Juju Fruits, and Chocolate covered doughnuts. He adored his chubby little Bulldog Morgan and took pride that his first car, a 2001 Lexus was still running after all the miles he put on it commuting to school at UCLA (he loved that car and planned on driving it till the wheels feel off).
He was all of this and much much more.
He is our Tyson and we miss him dearly. Our lives are forever changed because we knew him and because we lost him. He taught us so much in life and taught us some of the greatest things in his death. One of the most important being: Live life with NO REGRETS.
I spoke to his brother Timmy tonight and I said… “Its just a date right? June 17th is just another day on the calendar right?” he responded with “Ya, your right... I’m going to try not to think of it as such a bad day, but as a good day. I’m going to try and see it as what it really was, God called him home because his work here on earth was done. Tyson lived such a awesome God honoring life that God said, “you did it! Your reward is heaven." ”
As Christians our reward is heaven. So we should be happy for him, he is done with pain and heartache. We grieve for us, ourselves who are left behind with the pain and sadness we feel over his loss and that’s ok too, because losing Tyson was, is and always will be a very difficult thing to except. The idea is still foreign and will be the rest of my days on earth.
On the 17th I am turning off my phone and will not be checking my Facebook or emails. I plan on having this one-day to my self to reflect and be alone. 364 days this year have been dedicated to being strong and rising from the ashes. On this 365th day I am going to allow myself time to reflect and not feel like I have to put a smile on my face. This day I am allowing myself to just be sad and thats ok.
On the day of the funeral the funeral director spoke and asked us to all share a word that summed up or expressed what Tyson was to us. I think it would be more beneficial for us all to not express their sadness about the situation and how much we miss him but to share your word. It doesn’t matter if someone already said it because each word is unique to you. Lets paint a beautiful picture of Tyson with just one word each!
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. I know a lot of people have strengthened our family with them and we have continued to feel your love over the past year. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
