I was on the airplane the other day on my way Des Moines, Iowa. I was bored so I plugged my headphones in to my Ipod. Most of the time its fine, but this particular day it was hard. I love music and it has a way of calming me down and relaxing me. However, this time I heard a song that took me back to a particular car ride in my car. I was with friends and I was driving to an event with them. I was in my bright red Mini Copper, God I loved that car. I got very emotional, which as most of you know, doesn't happen often. Very rarely do I lose control of my emotions, especially in a public setting. This song and the memory attached to it made me miss the life I had prior to the accident. The car I drove until I sold it back to the dealership to save money, the house I no longer live in, the family and friends I no longer get to see on a weekly basis, the stupid and simple things like cooking for my husband, seeing his car parked in the driveway when I got home from work, our weekend trips to the hardware store to do stuff around the house, going to sporting events and talent shows for my nieces and nephews, dinner at my favorite places with family, and most of all my best friend and love of my life. I think of these things and how much I miss them often, but this day it made me cry. Just sat there staring out the window of the plane and let the tears quitely stream down my cheeks. It felt good to let it out.
I don't love to let people see me cry, most of the time they don't know what to say or it makes them feel awkward. This time it happened and I was lucky enough that I could just cry to myself and without anyone seeing me so that I could just get out the emotions and then I felt better. People constantly comment on how well I have dealt with this situation and I worry (being the over-analytical person that I can be) that people think I don't have hard days, that I dont want to just scream at the top of my lungs, or quit life and runaway and join the circus(oh wait, I did that one). Yes, most days I handle things great, trust me Im not glass and I won't break that easy, I've learned a few things about my-self since this summer and I'm proud to admit Im pretty strong, but the bad days do exist and they come in waves.
Im thankful for this second chance to be separated from the realities that exist back at home. Sometimes they are more than I can bare. I love hearing from friends and family but have found myself not responding to calls and texts because I don't know what to say or where I fit in to everyones lives right now. Don't give up on me, I'll get better eventually about responding, I love hearing from you because I think of each of you daily.
I am currently in Des Moines, Iowa and I don't hate it. I like to visit the big cities and enjoy visiting the hustle and bustle places, but I think I am appreciating the calm and kick back attitude I am finding here. At the same time Im glad we are only hear for 1 week. I have been taking more pictures here than I have so far in any other city... go figure! Today we saw how much Des Moines loves Saint Patricks Day and they pulled out all the stops to celebrate. An awesome friend even got Ashley and I shirts that said "Kiss me, I'm Iowish", very cleaver! I am so thankful for the new friends I have and how understanding and supportive they are. Ashley and I know that we are lucky to be touring with such giving people who take care of us and we are already dreading the day we have to part ways.
Thanks for listening :)
