Thankful

I am surprisingly thankful these days. With every sadness that I have expereinced this summer I have found little gifts. These gifts will never replace the greatest loss I suffered but they do help some days.

As most of you probably know my husband of 10 months, Tyson, passed away on June 17th. My summer was instantly gone. Here I am on Labor day weekend thinking back to my summer and how painful it was. Thirteen days after we lost Tyson I turned 26. I turned another year older and for the first time in nine years my best friend wasn't there to celebrate with me. A month later on August 1st, I celebrated my first wedding anniversary and then August 13th would have been our 9th anniversary of when we met. Then my nephew broke his collar bone on August 23rd. Lets just say this summer, especially the month of August, SUCKED!

However, I have found so many things to be thankful for. Tyson went with me to purchase my first Digital SLR camera on HIS birthday (March 8th). We agreed it was a very early birthday present for me, thats how he justified this splurge. Even though Tyson wasn't here for my birthday, he already had me covered for my birthday gift. Believe it or not he also justified buying a me a flash in early June, so I'm also covered for Christmas as well. Pretty smart guy, thinking ahead. Im thankful for the pictures I was able to capture of my sweetie as well. He never complained that I shoved my lenses in his face while I messed with the settings and tried to figure it all out.

Here are a few pictures and the stories behind them...

My cousin Natalia agreed to let me take pictures of her son Tae and her with her pregnant belly (my first "shoot"). I was so nervous and wanted it to go well. I told Tyson I was going to go to the field the day before and scope things out and take some test pictures. He insisted on going with me so I wasn't alone. Well naturally he became the subject of my test pictures. I love these pictures... I don't have any others like them of him. So thankful he offered to come with me that day.

(***Side note: The shirt he is wearing is his favorite shirt. I have found dozens of pictures over the years where he is wearing this shirt. It was super soft from years of wearing and washing. Its also the shirt he was wearing the day he passed away.)

We had Tysons nieces, Bella & Olivia, over to spend the night a week before Tyson passed away. This was the first time any of our nieces or nephews had spent the night at the home we gutted and built as a family. We had fun walking Morgan around the block, playing games & puzzles, watching Ice Age and most importantly... vanilla ice cream (Tysons was mostly Whipped Cream). So thankful for this picture that Tysons sister blew up and has in her upstairs loft.

Tyson played Basketball most Wednesday nights with a group of friends. For the first time I brought my camera to one of his games to practice action shots. This game turned out the be his last game as well as his last night here on earth. I took many pictures that game but the one that became and will be forever my favorite picture of him is below. He was watching other players warm up before the game and something made him laugh. It so perfectly him. He laughs with his whole face and body, you can see it in the crows feet he had at 28 years of age. I just love it to pieces... Im thankful that I have the last picture ever taken of Tyson. I took it with the camera he insisted I buy so that I could pursue a passion and love for photography.

I made a personal list of things I am thankful for this summer to help me stay positive in my darkest hours, but these help get me through most days. I love looking at pictures of his smile. They are bitter-sweet, but more sweet than bitter.