Who was Tyson?

Where to start… I’m still not sure what I want to say right now… but want to say something. I’ve been thinking about this week for an entire year now and now it’s upon me. So how am I feeling? What am I thinking? What can I say? I don’t really know. Ill just start writing and see what comes out…



June 17th is just a date right? It’s the day that comes after the 16th? And falls right before the 18th. It also happens to be the day that my life was turned completely upside down. I could spell out all the horrible things about that day, when those horrible words “he’s gone” were spoken to me, the follow days which blur together, the day we buried him, the things I miss, the things he and I will never share, the pain in all of our hearts, but most of you who read this probably know or can imagine those truths already. They are hard and they are bad but no one on this earth will benefit from me re-hashing them.

Instead I will focus on the man I love with all my heart. I am indefinitely proud to have called this man my husband, best friend, lover, and teacher. The pride fills my heart and gets me through a lot of days. His love is the kind of love that is enough to get me through a hundred lifetimes. I carry a piece of it each day with me and think often of the song by George Straight that he loved so much “Carrying your love with me”.

Who was Tyson?

Tyson was a man of faith who put God first in everything he did. He could get up on Sunday mornings and look mighty fine in a dress shirt and tie even when I felt too lazy or tired to get up to go. To drag your self out of bed when the person next you looks so warm and cozy, since most of us knew how much Tyson loved sleep we know that’s dedication. He equally believed in science and the word of God, which is a hard thing to do. He was able to quote scripture of the top of his head and convey bible stories to others in conversation. He not only believed the word, he lived it, which all of us Christians know, is not an easy thing to do all the time.

Tyson was WICKED smart, like the kind of smart man you read about in history books or magazines, BUT he never made anyone feel dumb. That’s the key to being smart and what I loved most about him. He never held his smarts over any ones head or made them believe that they were any less smart than he. He skipped a lot of school (Go Bruins) at UCLA (sorry Tim and Veta) and made his way over to my house to take me to lunch or to the beach or just watch T.V. with me during the day yet managed to show up to his finals and score in the 90th percentile on most tests. He had a photographic memory and was even kicked out of a casino when he was standing next to his dad and told him he was making a good bet since there was no way the dealer could have an Ace (enter casino security guards to escort young Tyson to the door).

Tyson was athletic. I wasn’t around the days of his great soccer playing years and high school sports but know that he was a great all around player who had the attributes of a star player. He was fast, agile, smart, encouraging of other players, a leader, aggressive, strong, reliable, teachable, and disciplined among many other qualities. All the while, playing with 20/200 vision, making him legally blind in one eye, something he was born with, which affected his depth perception - something you need for sports. He never used it as a excuse or a reason for any shortcomings. He played a friendly game of basketball with some cousins and friends the night before he passed away which provided me with my favorite picture of Tyson. Even though the game became a bit competitive, Tyson could still walk away laughing with a great big smile on his face.





Tyson was a family man. He was my husband for 10 and half months but we dated for 8 years prior to our wedding date. He treated me the way every girl dreams of. From our first date to his last day here on earth Tyson was a loving, kind, emotional when the occasion called for it, thoughtful, gentle, caring, spontaneous, warm, affectionate and devoted. Tyson made me feel beautiful, sexy, and smart - always offering a compliment when I got all dressed up for a night on the town or in my frumpy P.J.s while studying for a test. He never lost his temper or raised his voice at me (and lets face it I’m a girl we can frustrate the heck out of a guy) and was always the first to apologize, teaching me nothing is worth holding a grudge to being angry at because tomorrow is not guaranteed. He was a great son to Tim and Veta and in the latter years my parents, Ellis and Marlene making all four very proud to call him son. He was an amazing brother to Timmy and Amber and eventually their spouses Corinna and Jeremy and most recently my brother Josh. He was the best uncle a kid could ask for to Coby, Cade, Abby, Bella, Oliva and Sophia. My niece Julliette was born several months after Tyson passed away but she will come to know him the way the others know him through stories, pictures, video and memories from the heart. He was a grandson, nephew, cousin, friend and so much more!



He was there when you needed him most, he was the first to cleanup after a big party and the last to leave making sure every last bit was done. He was a coach for his nephews sports teams, the smile you needed to see on a bad day and a hug around the neck when he could see that someone needed it. He could water ski and make any man or woman jealous because he did it with such finesse and jump on the snow ski slopes transferring our envy to a new season. He would sprint to open doors for a person in need, the first to respond to a friend in distress and the patience to sit and listen to their troubles. He would take the shirt off his back, even for an enemy (which I’m not sure even existed). He was a camp counselor/father to the young members of the CCC Wagon Train trips to Hume Lake. He was Sunday school teacher, and he served on our church elder board. He was the builder of our first home, and a scientist. He loved Tea with his mom and watching B flick movies with his dad. He loved and adored the ground his big brother Timmy and equally admired and adored his big sis Amber or as he called her often Amb. He loved Dr. Pepper and Coke. Hot Tamales, Juju Fruits, and Chocolate covered doughnuts. He adored his chubby little Bulldog Morgan and took pride that his first car, a 2001 Lexus was still running after all the miles he put on it commuting to school at UCLA (he loved that car and planned on driving it till the wheels feel off).

He was all of this and much much more.

He is our Tyson and we miss him dearly. Our lives are forever changed because we knew him and because we lost him. He taught us so much in life and taught us some of the greatest things in his death. One of the most important being: Live life with NO REGRETS.



I spoke to his brother Timmy tonight and I said… “Its just a date right? June 17th is just another day on the calendar right?” he responded with “Ya, your right... I’m going to try not to think of it as such a bad day, but as a good day. I’m going to try and see it as what it really was, God called him home because his work here on earth was done. Tyson lived such a awesome God honoring life that God said, “you did it! Your reward is heaven." ”

As Christians our reward is heaven. So we should be happy for him, he is done with pain and heartache. We grieve for us, ourselves who are left behind with the pain and sadness we feel over his loss and that’s ok too, because losing Tyson was, is and always will be a very difficult thing to except. The idea is still foreign and will be the rest of my days on earth.




On the 17th I am turning off my phone and will not be checking my Facebook or emails. I plan on having this one-day to my self to reflect and be alone. 364 days this year have been dedicated to being strong and rising from the ashes. On this 365th day I am going to allow myself time to reflect and not feel like I have to put a smile on my face. This day I am allowing myself to just be sad and thats ok.

On the day of the funeral the funeral director spoke and asked us to all share a word that summed up or expressed what Tyson was to us. I think it would be more beneficial for us all to not express their sadness about the situation and how much we miss him but to share your word. It doesn’t matter if someone already said it because each word is unique to you. Lets paint a beautiful picture of Tyson with just one word each!



Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. I know a lot of people have strengthened our family with them and we have continued to feel your love over the past year. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Its not hard, just different...

Traveling with someone new has been an adjustment. Not that my new travel partner is difficult, Tyson just took such good care of me before and I was spoiled, just ask his family. Amber does a great impression of Tyson, "hey sweetie", "sure sweetie", "let me get that for you sweetie". That make other people wanna gag type stuff. When we traveled, even on our honeymoon, he would hold onto our travel stuff and as soon as we would get to security he would hand me my passport and boarding pass. As soon as I would get through security he would take it back until we got to the point of boarding the plane. Then out would come my passport and boarding pass. He would always know which gate to go to when we came out of security and say "our gate is this way sweetie". I would usually overpack and he would always be trying to carry my bag, his bag and probably a niece or nephews bag as well, when we traveled with family. He was superman you know, with superhuman strength and so helpful and thoughtful.

As we left a little over a week ago things were different. Alone my bag sat at the front door with no other suitcase or backpack. The pile was missing a staple Orange bag, he has several to choose from. We drove to the Van Nuys Flyaway, something we had done countless times together. The last time I was there he was there and we just left our wedding weekend and we were on our way to the honeymoon. Tyson got in line and purchased our tickets for the bus last time, but this time my daddy jumped in line and got Ash and I our tickets, thank you dad, I needed that. We said goodbye and off we went. I think I was too tired that morning to cry but so much raced through my head. Mostly all the times before I had sat there on that bus to LAX excited for a trip, I was just as excited this time just had that bitter/sweet taste that has consumed much of everything the past few months.

We made it to the ticket line at the airport and I went up up when the lady said "next". I don't think I've ever stood at an airport ticket booth by myself. It wasn't hard just different. Then came the security check point. I pulled out my own ticket and my own I.D., went through and quietly put it in my backpack until I would need both to board the plane. We made our way to the gate and sat down to wait for our turn to board when I would pull that boarding pass and I.D. out all by myself. It wasn't hard, just different. Turns out that I'm can do it on my own and I'm pretty good at navigating my way through the airport. I guess I had a good teacher.

I've had to do a lot of big kid stuff the past few months. It's been such a djustment but Tyson really set me up and taught me so much before he died. I don't think anything is too hard or out of my reach its just different and I'm learning to do it one day at a time.








Boy do I miss that man...

New York State of Mind

Well we made it. We've been in New York since Tuesday evening and I feel like we are getting a pretty good feel for the city. Our first night we landed at JFK and jumped into a cab. It's a flat rate fee for them to take you into the city which is 55$ which includes the toll road fee and then we tipped him a couple bucks. I received an email on my phone saying that our boss had a meeting till late and couldn't meet us until a little bit later. We were instructed to leave our baggage with the door man at the building until he could let us in. The email made a few suggestions for dinner and we went to the closest which was an Irish Pub a few blocks up. Ashley and I sat at a table by the front window and ordered some food. We were starving after a long day of traveling. I had corned beef a cabbage and she had bangers and mash. Both were really good, I think mine was the best that I've ever had. We finished and still had some time to burn so we just walked around a little bit. The hustle and bustle and business really caught my attention. Everyone is on their way to something important, at least it seems that way. Also ashley and I noticed the trash on the sidewalks. What's that all about? We were told by the doorway that everynight is trash night and it looks like that everyday... weird.

My boss made it to the appt. to let us in and to explain how everything worked and what we needs to know. It's a really nice appt on the upper westside on 86th street. We are within walking distance of Central Park. After he left we had our freak out moment about how cool all of this was and ho lucky we are to be experienceing all of it. We decided to hit the hay because after all of the days nervousness and excitement we were both exhausted.

Wednesday we didn't have to meet our boss/supervisor until noon so we got ready and set out on the city. after receiving tons of directives and had them repeated we set out for the subway system which is only 2 blocks away. We paid for a two way pass and set out for Times Square this is the stop we get off to go into the office which worked out perfect for us to see some sights before going in to meet with HR. We sat down and filledbout some paperwork and discussed for a while the description of our jobs and what not. From there Meredith walked us down to one of the shows we do merchants for called Promises Promises. It stars Kristin Chenowith, Sean Sean Hayes, and Molly Shannon. This was Ashley show for the night to train with. Mine was a few blocks away and I would be working on Elf the musical. Funny how I was trying to avoid Christmas this year and I get placed at a Christmas musical in November. We still had time to turn between that time and the time we needed to be back at the theaters to work so ashley and I walked, ate, walked, ate some more and did some more walking. Finally it was time to head to our shows and get working for the night. I met Megan, who happens to be Meredith sister, and is the meet h manager for Elf and my boss for the night. I was given the job of cAb seller and it was my job to walk around before the show, intermission and after the show to sell Elf hats. There is a baseball cap and an Elf logo Santa hat. The whole night people either found it worth the coat or said "I'm not paying that much for a Santa hat!" I sold 7 hats, which I heard was decent considered we haven't officially opened yet. Ashley and I met after our shows were done and rode home on the subway. We accidents tool the wrong one and instead of dropping us off a few blocks away it took us a more than a few blocks away. Our feet were dying and we were tired so we went thrilled about out bonehead move, but we just started walking and observed the city at night and all its wonder. We made it back and basically jumped in bed. Our first full day in the big city had it all. Walkjng, adventure, time square, food, meeting new people, excitement, and memories.

I'm not going to post daily about everything we do because that would get old, even for me. So ill let you know the highlight from Thursday. We woke up around 9 and we were so tired and because it was raining we decided brush best way to spend the day was resting so we diet get burned out. So we both fell back to sleep till about 1. We got up, enjoyed the awesomness that is: The Five Napkin Burger. It's a burger as big as your head, ark maybe not that big, but pretty big. I was placed with Elf again and Ashley was placed with the show we will be working on: Next to Normal. I was selling hats like I was the night before but this time instead of them in a laptop bag slung over my shoulder I got to have an official red and green.box (like the cigar girls used to carry). When I was standing at the doorway I had my first famous sighting. Chelsea Clinton! I'm told after a while you see so many it becomes so unexciting but for now it was kinda cool. She did not buy one of my hats :(

It's now Friday morning and Ashley and I don't have to be anywhere till 7 tonight. We are hoping if the rain clears up we can see the statue of liberty and ground zero among a few other things. Please please please excuse all the mistakes as I am updating from my phone and its not easy to type all this out on a 2inch by 4 inch screen. Most of the pictures are on my Canon and I have no way of getting them off for now so pictures will have to wait till I'm home in November.

I think of Tyson any time I see something I thing he would think is cool and every time I see a group of teenagers who are obviously on a field trip. Tyson came to the east coast in high-school with his classmates and NY was one of their stops. As most of you know Tyson would get sick and throw up regularly and on the day thy were to go to the Statue of Liberty he was too sick to go. I don't remember any of the things he actually did but I do remember the one thing he missed and I'm excited to do that for him...

La Belle Vie or not La Belle Vie

I have been debating on changing my blog title and web address to apply more to my life as it currently stands. You see my cousin Natalia came up with the name for this blog when it was solely for photography. La Belle Vie Photos, The Beautiful Life Photos. The goal was to post my pictures and allow people to see the beautful world through my camera lens.

With how my world has changed in the past few months and losing the love of my life, my world and life doesn't feel beautiful. Im not trying to be dramatic, its just really not the same. I really lost a sense of security the day Tyson passed away. I always thought it was weird when girls were scared to be home alone or affraid of scary movies or scared of the dark. I used to stay home alone when my parents went out of town and watch scary movies by myself. Now... It makes me anxious to watch the news because Im affriad of becoming paranoid and thinking about what could happen. The month after the accident my brother came and installed motion sensor lights around the perimeter of the house. Just try getting close to my house without the whole neighborhood knowing! I have my neighbors numbers written down close by if I hear something or get scared. I get awoken by strange noises so easily, most often its just my dog tossing and turning in her bed right outside my door. I think the reason I never felt scared before is because Tyson was always a phone call away, while we dated and laying right next to me while we were married. Even if he was out of town I felt safe knowing if anything happended to me he would avenge me and track down the person who hurt me. I little but fairy taleish but its how I felt.

I know my fellow christians are saying, just pray, God will protect you. Easier said then done. I rely on God for a lot and I feel much closer to him since Tyson passed away, but the whole security thing may take a while to get back. I'm being patient and trying not to rush it, and I dont let it restrict me in any way but its just there.

Another reason this world feels less beautiful is that it lacks Tyson and his AMAZING smile. That smile is capable of so much, you have no idea. It had a way of brightening days and making people feel good. He would flash at someone who didn't know him and they would instantly know they made a new friend. All the comments, notes, letters, and messages we received after he passed away, I would say at least 80% made a comment about his smile. Its the number one thing I miss. When I look at a picture Iam fine when I look at it as a whole. When I focus on just his smile and the crows feet that went along with it, I tend to lose it.

After much thought I've decided to keep the name La Belle Vie. My life has a few beautiful things right now that I can't deny. A few of them are: Gods Grace (when I know I don't deserve it), the love of my family, a chance for a fresh start, great friends, security in other ways, and the ability to continue to take pictures of others beauty. Eventually their beauty will be mine I just have to wait for it.




I wanted to share a blog with you that has provided me with lots of comfort over the past few months. I was hesitant to read it for the first few weeks because of its subject "widowhood". That word was soooooo hard the first few times I heard/used it. However I like to read about the hope and the struggles people in my position are going through. Even if you choose not to read it I hope you remember it and share with someone who will need it one day because everyone needs to know they are not alone.
http://widowsvoice-sslf.blogspot.com/